Another Side of the Sky.
by Neo Jay
Summary: What is it like to kill people, hurt them, and then be given a second chance by the person you used to hate? Snape fill us in. Hoorah!


Title: Another Side Of The Sky.  
Rating: PG (The F word.. torture mention.. i dunno, something like that.)  
Summary: What is it like to kill people, hurt them, and then be given a second chance by the person you used to hate? Snape fill us in. Hoorah!  
Disclaimer: I don't own them. But wouldn't it be fun if I did?  
Comments: What can I say- This is my first thing I've ever actually submitted, and the first h.p fanfic I've EVER written, in my life, that was under fifty pages. Just a bit of an experiment I suppose, review constructively if you hate it, but if you flame me I'll... cry and/or hunt you down... :)  


  
  


_* Another side of the Sky *_

  
  
I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the pain it caused in the back of my throat. I *still* hadn't gotten anything for my cold... then hell, I wasn't that kind of a person, it would pass anyway. Eventually everything did. Besides- I didn't really have anytime to get anything for it.. I mean, I didn't have time to work the events of the last week out in my head either, let alone have time to cure my cold..  
It didn't matter.  
It would pass.  
Maybe not the things is my head,  
but the cold would.  
_That_ would be all right.  
Everything in the past week had just ... come at me, out of the blue, even this cold thing did just that, but there were more important things than this stupid cold to figure out, like I _already_ said. I hate repeating myself, do you know that? Especially when there's no one actually there that I'm saying this to... I'm sorry. Just- like I said; fucked up this week. Very. Then, maybe I havea reason- everything DOES have a reason, you know. Murder- even that has a time and a place. Mine almost occurred this past week as well... I bet that got you curious, didn't it? Your wondering what I'm talking about now, well, I'll tell you, I suppose. There's not much else to do. So I'll tell you, my imaginary friend here what has been happening to me. In the past week, I have been beaten, tortured, tried... and here's the funny part- at the end of the week, I was given a job. I was hired. I've never had a _real_ job in my entire life, I had always wanted one, actually. And it's funny, you see? At the end of the worst week of my life, I get one. Strange, really. I was given a second chance right after I had completely and totally blown my first. Yes, I got my second chance all right, but the question is... why give it to someone who doesn't deserve it? I don't, you know. Then, who ever deserves a second chance? Who even deserves a first? Most of us should have never been born, you know. For most of us, our mothers should have strangled us the second we came out.. but no.. they think we will do well in the world, make it a better place to live. They give us hope.. they *believe* in us. Why? Why should anyone believe in anyone? Why should anyone have ever believed in me? I'll tell you what. I don't. Not anymore. After the horrible things I've done? No.. I used to, I used to when I thought what I was doing was right, that it was OK. Oh, It's OK to kill people, Severus, it's OK to lie, it's OK to steal... that it it was OK to lie to people, and make it think it was for their own good. It was OK to fool yourself into thinking you were doing the work of god. It was OK to work for Lord Voldemort.  
Well. You know what?  
... It wasn't.  
I didn't know it then, but I know it now. The things I did shouldn't have been forgiven, I should have been killed, I was very close to doing it for myself, if they wouldn't.... Then I was given my second chance-- a chance to start anew, and... I was given a job, I was given a position, I was given hope. For a very short time, I had what my mother held for me a very long time ago....  
Well, you know what?  
I don't know what's going to happen here, I don't know what's going to happen to me, I don't know what's going to go on in this second chance, all I knew was that I don't deserve it nor will I ever... and the man who gave it to me? Albus Dumbledore? I didn't deserve _him_ either. Then, no one really does.   


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I'm pretty damn pro-dumbledore, eh? Whatever. That was it. Hope you... review it. *hint hint, knudge knudge!* If anyone did notice, this is indeed the 2nd version. Edited.   
  
  
-Neo Jay.


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